Busted CPAC

Brace yourselves, kittens. And definitely hide the children. It's looking mighty scary over there.

Over where, you ask? CPAC. Oh, yes. That's right. It's back, and it's already giving us nightmares. (Not really. It's just giving us a strong case of sh*ts & giggles. #AllTAllShade)

Why? Let's start with New Jersey Traffic-jammer-in-chief Governor Chris Christie (R-Sleaze). During his big CPAC moment in the slime, he threw a temper tantrum. But why? Oh, because that "Big Bad Harry Reid!!!" (D-Fierce) is fierce enough to read to filth the dirty shade the Koch-topus keeps throwing at America. We figure since Chris Christie can't keep his own damned house in order, he's trying to change the subject by throwing red meat at the base he so desperately wants (since he's still entertaining delusions of 2016 grandeur).



And speaking of desperation, how 'bout that Mitch McConnell (R-Desperado)? He wanted to look macho at CPAC today (while pandering to the NRA), so he mishandled a gun on stage. Apparently, he's still upset over Harry Reid out-foxing him at every turn. #Pobrecito



Unfortunately for Mitchums, his gun stunt was no match for the pearls of wisdom that Paul Ryan (R-P90X) unleashed during his CPAC moment. Oh no, he brought the house down with his paean to "The Hunger Games". No really, he sang the praises of letting poor kids starve. And that explains his rather lurid austerity fetish. #Kinky #Freaky

But of course, none of them could match the unique sophistry of this year's CPAC Award Winner. And really, how could they? Mark Levin is another one of their true leaders.



What he says goes in today's G-O-TEA (along with the guidance of Levin's H8 radio colleague, Rush Limbaugh). And his award at this year's CPAC proves that the Nevada Republican Party is anything but an isolated incident. Rather, batsh*t crazy has spread throughout the G-O-TEA nationwide.

And that's why CPAC has become quite the crazy spectacle. Yet even as it's become such a spectacle, its stars have yet to reveal any wigs under their wigs. And until that happens, color us unimpressed. And definitely keep hiding the children from those gawd-awful mugs. #Busted

Sharron's Siren Songs

At least he's trying. Even as the rest of the Nevada Republican Party drives quickly into Crazytown, Governor Brian Sandoval (R) continues to steer clear of the Sea of "TEA". And he continues trying to "soften" his party's image, even as other prominent Nevada G-O-TEA politicians continue drinking more hard "TEA" from their 21st Century Know Nothing base.

Today, Governor Sandoval wants to let the world know that he won't make life easy for 2016 Presidential Candidates campaigning in Nevada if they don't pledge to turn the proposed Interstate 11 (I-11) Freeway into a reality. For years, officials in Nevada and Arizona have discussed a potential freeway linking Reno, Las Vegas, and Phoenix. But when The Great Recession first hit, the proposal started collecting dust. But now, Governor Sandoval wants to use what he sees as his bully pulpit to turn I-11 from a few patches of road improvements into a fully developed multi-lane freeway.

Of course, there's a problem with Governor Sandoval's plan to add Southwestern infrastructure to the 2016 campaign narrative. That's problem just happens to be Sandoval's own Republican Party. While he's begging G-O-TEA 2016 contenders to talk about infrastructure, a leading G-O-TEA 2016 contender continues to obsess over Former President Bill Clinton's sex life during the 1990s. No, we're not kidding on this.



But wait, there's more! Two other leading G-O-TEA 2016 contenders (and sitting Governors) are bickering over whose scandal looks worse. And they'll all have to keep up with their G-O-TEA base on such important matters as banning abortions because of racial stereotypes, taking seriously a washed up D-List celebrity who keeps his name in the news by making even more outrageous accusations of President Obama, rewriting the history of The Civil War, and espousing long ago discredited theories of "nullifying federal law".

Unfortunately for Brian Sandoval, the above mentioned "SCANDALZZZ!!!!" full of crazy show far greater appeal to the G-O-TEA base than an interstate highway that millions of Americans in this region might actually put into good use. And since his party long ago decided to ditch sound economics for austerity laced voodoo, that just makes Sandoval's case to his own party for more federal investment that much tougher.

While a number of Nevada Republicans throw the "RINO" label around when describing Brian Sandoval, we prefer using this label: LINO, or "leader in name only". Why? Even though certain Republican consultants in DC and media pundits in DC & Las Vegas tout Sandoval as a "rising star & Republican leader", he can't lead his own party out of paper bag. Sure, he'd like to lead them out of a paper bag... But since the G-O-TEA base demands that they stay in the paper bag in order to remain "pure", they stay in the paper bag.

Try as he might, we doubt Governor Sandoval will go far in his effort to make the Nevada Republican Party seem relevant again. As long as they listen to Sharron Angle's siren songs, they'll keep tuning him out. And as long as national G-O-TEA politicians keep listening to her siren songs (which are heavily promoted by the voters they're competing for) as well, they'll also tune him out.

Maybe a Vegas Vacation Can't Cure Everything?

This should be fun. Pundits all over are chirping over the selection of Former Rep. Enid Greene Mickelsen (R-Utah) to head the convention site selection committee for the Republican National Committee (RNC). Does this mean the 2016 Republican National Convention might just come here after all?

Not so fast. Keep in mind that there are still 22 other cities vying for #RNC2016. And one of them just happens to be the capital of Utah's other next door neighbor. Kansas City, Chicago, and all 3 major Ohio cities (!!!) are also among the contenders, so @LV2016 boosters should expect a fierce competition ahead.

Already, national Republican "leaders" are honing in on better "optics" for future election cycles. That's why local @LV2016 fans are calling on the RNC to "embrace the diversity of Las Vegas". But will they?

We've been down this road before. Sure, this may be the first time that Republicans have seriously considered bringing their national showcase event to Southern Nevada. However, this isn't the first time they've tried to woo us by whispering sweet nothings into our ears.

And then, there's that whole matter of "embracing diversity". How's that working out? Oh yes, that's right. The RNC looks set to double down (again) on the G-O-TEA War on Women. Meanwhile, top Republicans in Oklahoma, Indiana, Arizona, New Jersey (we'll get back to him shortly), and elsewhere continue their crusade against LGBTQ civil rights. And then, there are Republicans' "great ideas" for Latin@ outreach. And of course, we can't forget the G-O-TEA Florida Legislature candidate who wants President Obama executed.

This is how today's G-O-TEA has been embarking on "embracing diversity". No wonder why "Republican insiders" are so worried about their party's electoral future. And with "Great White Hope" Chris Christie's 2016 poll numbers turning south (in the wake of Bridge-gate), they have even more to worry about now.

Perhaps some Republicans are hoping a fun field trip to Las Vegas will cure their party of all these woes. Perhaps they'll even get their way this time. They just can't realistically expect a lavish Vegas Vacation to wash away their party's severe disconnect from reality.

The Scandal That Isn't There (vs. One That Is)

Scandal! Scandal! It's time for a new haute faux scandal. And this time, it's (again) coming from Former Defense Secretary Robert Gates. And this time, it's (again) targeting Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D).

So what happened? Long story short, Robert Gates decided to release a book that throws plenty of shade at the Obama Administration. Why? President Obama dared to question the wisdom of indefinite extension of the Afghanistan War and look for a full spectrum of options on Libya (in 2011). Apparently, Robert Gates didn't like President Obama asserting his constitutional authority as Commander-in-Chief.

And now, Gates is digging further back in time to try to read Senator Reid. No really, he's taking to the media to rehash comments the Senator made nearly 7 years ago on the Iraq War. Of course, he fails to mention that Senator Reid has been proven correct on Iraq.

We can't help but wonder why Republican politicians are chomping at the bit to see more of Robert Gates throwing political punches at President Obama, Senator Reid, and other top Democrats. Is it because they hope Gates' comments can revive their meme of #ObamaFAIL? Is it because they still refuse to acknowledge the Obama Administration's foreign policy successes? Is it because they want to use Gates' recent comments as ammo in their battle against President Obama & Senator Reid on Iran policy?

Or could the motivation behind the "Gates-gate" hype lie closer to home? Just as "Gates-gate 1.0" was starting to hit its stride in the media, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie (R) screwed it all up with the emergence of his own (very real) Bridge-gate scandal. Might "Gates-gate 2.0" just be a clumsy G-O-TEA attempt at diverting media attention from the scandalicious slow motion implosion of Republicans' "Great White Hope for 2016"?

Whatever the motivation(s) behind "Gates-gate", it just seems like there's no there there. And we should keep this in mind in case someone decides to manufacture a new "Harry Reid SCANDAL!!!"